on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
