If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize