Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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