The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize