Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
