He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Quick, to the slutcave!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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