I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
