The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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