Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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