We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
