I wish i was in the wii world.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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