i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
