Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
