I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
