You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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