I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
