***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
