Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize