Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
