There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
