so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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