Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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