this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
