two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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