I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
