This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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