I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
