I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
