im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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