CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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