im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
