I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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