How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
