I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
