dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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