i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
