I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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