I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
