so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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