You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
