Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
