Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
