He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
