It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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