Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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