Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
