I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
