Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize