I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
