sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
