Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
