you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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