I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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