After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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