did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
