i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
