nutella sex= disaster
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize