It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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