It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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